3 Kinds of Friendship

Did you know there are 3 kinds of friendship?

My apologies on the delay of sending out this blog. I am usually able to promptly blog about what I feel the Lord is speaking to me. However, I have let my traveling, busyness, and now sickness (I am recovering from strep) keep me from speaking up!

On September 24th, I woke up from a dream where I heard God telling me there were 3 kinds of friendship.

Friends who fight for you and WIN
Friends who fight for you and LOSE
Friends who don’t even fight for you AT ALL.

Then I heard the name of a friend, Joe.

Joe and I used to be friends. I wrote about him in my book Forgiving Others, Forgiving Me. Before I was married, I liked this boy named Joe. I’ll never forget one moment with Joe when we were flirting and he instantly changed the subject to tell me about his girlfriend.

I was shocked.
Joe had a girlfriend?

Then why was he flirting with me? I remember going to a girl friend in leadership at my church and confiding in her how hurt I felt. I also asked her to pray for me, and she said that she would.

A few weeks later, she called me and asked me not to be mad because she was now dating Joe.

I.
Got.
Mad.

I got very mad. I-cussed-her-out-over-the-phone-mad. I purposely told her off hoping that we would no longer be friends. But, she ruined my little plan and forgave me for my outburst of anger. She talked me through the situation, and told me about how a similar situation happened to her. She knew how it felt, and she never meant for this to happen or come between our friendship. Although I was still hurt, I knew in my heart that, that is what friends do.

There are friends fight for each other and WIN.

I shared another example in my book Forgiving Others, Forgiving Me about a friend who became so upset with me that she sent me a nasty gram over Facebook before she unfriended me. She said hurtful things about me personally (an attack) and said that I had hurt her deeply. When I tried to reply (I couldn’t because she had blocked me), I had no choice but to email, call, or text her. Since she refused to respond to any of my messages, I had to get creative in my approach.

After praying about it with friends, I personally delivered a dozen white roses to her cubicle and asked if we could talk. She agreed, but never contacted me back. In this case, I didn’t cuss her out. I didn’t purposefully try to get rid of her friendship. I honestly cared for her and wanted to know what I did.

To this day, I still have no idea what I did to hurt her so deeply.

There are friends fight for each other and LOSE.

Back to Joe.

When I got the opportunity to talk to Joe after smoothing things out with my girl friend who was dating Joe — he showed remorse for hurting me. Except that he didn’t understand why I was so angry because he didn’t think he ever flirted with me. He said he wanted to be friends because he valued my friendship, but never followed through. When I heard the word Joe in my dream I completely understood what God was trying to speak to me.

There are friends don’t even fight for you AT ALL.

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to be in my friend Jenn’s wedding. Jenn was my first best friend when I was 18. My maid of honor at my wedding.

3 Kinds of Friendship3 Jenn, Amy, and I have all been friends since we were 18. When Amy got married first, we took a picture of the three of us (pictured above). When I got married second, we took a picture of the three of us (pictured left). When Jenn got married third, we took a picture of the three of us (pictured below).

It’s not often 3 friends remain connected through years of boyfriends, breakups, and single parenthood.

I am grateful that God brought Jenn and Amy into my life–and it is my hope that my dream about 3 kinds of friendship would inspire you.

Are there friends God wants you to keep fighting for and WIN?
Maybe he’s asking you to let them go (LOSE).
Or maybe He’s convicting you to pick up your phone and fight for a friend you never fought for AT ALL.